Met an old friend today. She curiously mentioned that i've become gentlemanly. Was i that bad, lousy, cold in poly days? Frankly speaking, we haven't seen each other for more than maybe a year or 2. Our conversations were usually thru smses or msn. Wanted to write all this for a long time. Just as i wonder technology has brought us closer, it also drift people apart unknownly.

The I-Generation, some call it has invented a new communication means which our young generations has been using to communicate with their friends, families and making new friends. Everyone talks about emails, Google, cellphones, Friendster, MSN mesenger, 3G, etc. Peoples' emotions were transcript into emoticons, smileys or put the simple smiling muscles on your face into " :)" . Perhaps that's why Nokia has their tagline, Human Technolgy. Even work were corresponded over emails.

Lacking the human touch, are we victims of the E-World  when our lifestyle so much depend on it? Maybe you can ask someone around to name the Top 5 things she/ he will press the panic button when she/ he lost them. Bet one of them is the cellphone.

Living in this I-Gen, i still like the one-to one conversation over a coffee or something. Don't like webcam either. Though it offers quick response from peer to peer, Internet still can't give the satisfaction of the 5 senses -  sight, hear, smell, touch and voice. It can only offer visuals with sights and sounds, also not forgeting Internet telephony (VoIP) network where free voice or video conferencing.

August was a stressful, depressing, uncertainty month. Where alot of things happened had me tasted the meaning of " you never know what's gonna happen in the future". I never like suspension. Long waiting shivers my spine. Empty talks also bores me. Once, again the lightning with negative charge struck me hard.

Late last year, I was told that i am going to lose someone very dear to me in a matter of time. She was diagnosed with kidney failure. Transplant was out of question - weak heart. Nornal dialysis( both blood or water) were also not in the checklist. Put it bluntly, she's left to die with her knowledge that her days are numbered. I can never imagine how i would react when someone announced that to me.

Day by day, toxin level can be controlled by medicine. But to only a certain extent. Other parts of the organs are showing signs of failing including the weaken heart. She still managed to talk to me and laughing with me when she was admited into hospital. I was talking to her over 3G technology for a while too minus the touch. There were both tears of sadness and joy. To me, her life have been very hard and strong. Not to mention that she already watched her husbands died before her.

It was then, i felt that there's nothing worth to fight for in life. No point working so hard to earn a living, an recognition, a degree, etc.Why bother? Everyone will die anyway. Just a matter of time. We are waiting for death the very second we are born into this world.

Just waiting.

Don't worry, suicide is the word created for idiots. I'm smart.

But I will not wait endlessly. It's my life. We only live once and it has to be worthwhile. I want to be happy waiting and experience life. I will not succumb to any difficulties or obstacles. I'll will strive to live the way i want. Making choices that allow me to experience life within the time limits. Life is a wonderful thing which i think probably one of the wonderful things that the-being-some-call-up-there gave.

By the-being-some-call-up-there terms. The-being-some-call-up-there has sent the-being-some-call-up-there's followers to her. She must have found happiness. It's is a bliss. Though it will still be a draggy, painful journey, perhaps she will be lead to a place they call heaven. Her husbands waiting for her patiently. Perhaps they can stroll down the beach that they never get to do it before. Perhaps they can embrace sunset in each other arms that they never get to do it before. Perhaps they can count the stars of the Milky Way that they never get to do it before.

I really hope.

I sincerely apologise if you began to feel negatively about things in life after reading this post. But i do hope that you will pick up yourself again.  Not now maybe. But not too late. Do something. Talk to a friend. Take a stroll. Play a game. Read a book. Forget about alcohol and drugs, they only worsen the situation.

Remember, be happy.

Lyrics:

Over the sea and far away
She's waiting like an Iceberg
Waiting to change,
But she's cold inside
She wants to be like
the water,

All the muscles tighten in her face
Buries her soul in one embrace
They're one and the same
Just like water

Then the fire fades away
But most of everyday
Is full of tired excuses
But it's too hard to say
I wish it were simple
But we give up easily
You're close enough to see that
You're.... the other side of the world
to me

On comes the panic light
Holding on with fingers
and feelings alike
But the time has come
To move along

Then the fire fades away
But most of everyday
Is full of tired excuses
But it's too hard to say
I wish it were simple
But we give up easily
You're close enough to see that
You're.... the other side of the world

Can you help me?
Can you let me go
And can you still love me
When you can't see me anymore

Then the fire fades away
most of everyday
Is full of tired excuses
But it's too hard to say
I wish it were simple
But we give up easily
You're close enough to see that
You're.... the other side of the world
Ohh.... the other side of the world
You're.... the other side of the world
To me.

got this from talkingcock.com. Pretty interesting... but curiously wonder what can worse than a hum-onei onei, hum-ice-kachang( blood and hum instead of condensed milk and atapchee), hum steak( middle raw), etc... hmmmm.

by Cockle Doodledo,
The reason for the Prime Minister’s notorious and embarrassing gaffe during his National Day Rally speech has been revealed.

In his 2006 National Day Rally speech, the Prem Binister had intended to deliver a withering, cogently argued response to those who saw the Gahmen’s clampdown on Mr. Brown as heavy-handed. Instead, the argument was not only garbled, but he inadvertently revealed how out of touch he was with the average Singaporean’s experiences.

By saying, ‘mee siam mai hum’, he created the impression that either:

1. he had never eaten mee siam in his life, as mee siam never contains ‘hum’, or cockles;

2. he could not tell the difference between laksa or char kway teow (which does have cockles) and mee siam (which doesn’t), which then raises questions about what he eats regularly, and how different his diet is from the average Singaporean;

3. he actually meant to say, ‘mee siam mai hiam’, which is possible. But by asking for no spice in a dish whose entire point is spiciness only suggests wimpiness;

4. he has never had to order food in a hawker centre in a long while, if at all, which again sets him apart from his constituents.

- all of which are not particularly flattering propositions.

However, the Prime Minister’s Orifice has managed to uncover the truth that the Prime Minister’s ‘mee siam mai hum’ statement was not in fact a gaffe, but derived from personal experience.

Specifically, his experience during a pre-election walkabout earlier this year at Bukit Gorblok Food Centre in Hong Kan GRC, where he sampled the wares of Mr. Hum Kah Chan, a tze char hawker whose speciality is serving cockles with everything.

Yah lor, said Mr. Hum, whose stall is aptly named ‘Humpalang Hawker Food’. Prem Binister come to my stall, so I offer him my today’s special, mah.

Which was you guessed it mee siam with cockles.

I put hum in everything, he said proudly, with a hint of defensiveness. Chicken rice with hum, nasi lemak with hum, bak kut teh with hum, prata with hum, even ice kacang with hum. I love hum. Hum, hum, hum, hum, lovely hum, wonderful hum.

The Prime Minister consumed the dish, said Mr. Gerry Mandhir, an officer with the PMO. And promptly had diarrhoea. Not the verbal variety that runs in certain geriatric members of his family, but from somewhere, um, lower down.

Mr. Hum subsequently had his licence suspended for unhygienic food practices.

What to do? The hum was pai, said Mr. Hum ruefully, using the Hokkien word for ‘bad’, before chanting angrily, Pai hum! Pai hum! Pai hum! Pai hum! Since then, the Prime Minister has had a phobia of foods containing cockles, and always asks that whatever is served to him does not contain the offending bivalves.

This explains his statement. The hum was very harmful to him, said Mr. Mandhir. It was especially embarrassing because he was wearing white pants. You must understand this incident is also why he just cannot stand the colour brown.